Forget Trinny and Susannah, give your poor body a break from tight clothes and painful shoes. Your body is quite capable of telling you what not to wear.
Fashion has absolutely nothing to do with style. Fashion is an industry, style is an art form. Fashion will have you running to the shops every other month; style is eternal.
For me shopping for clothes is definitely one of the circles of hell and I’m surprised that Dante left it out. I hate it with a deep and abiding passion. I even hated it when I was the perfect size 10 as I never had a clue what to wear or what was trendy or looked nice on me. All clothes were hit or miss. Sometimes I looked terrific. Other times I looked ghastly.
As I got older, things went from bad to worse. I put on masses of weight till I hit my present fabulously indulgent size 18. Now, not only did I not know what to shop for, I had to ensure clothes suited my new bigger size. This was not as easy as simply avoiding hot pants in a size 18. It required a huge amount of figuring out what cuts, cloths and colours suited me. For someone who hates shopping, I had found a new level of torment.
Then I had an epiphany. I was going on a date and so I wore a tight girdle to hold everything in, a young tight, funky top, some capri pants and high heels. I was going for a retro look and I sort of pulled it off but I was in loads of pain. The girdle hurt, the top made me self-conscious about my cleavage and the high heels were killing me. I was no mood to be on a date and I’m sure I was not exactly scintillating company.
As I hobbled home that evening, I had a Scarlet O’Hara moment: I would never be uncomfortable again. That night I called my cousin in Pakistan and instructed her to make me fiveloose kaftan style tops in silk in a variety of colours. I then went shopping the next day for loose trousers and flat loafers, Mary Janes and flat boots. It was a military-style operation; I didn’t allow myself to coo over the heels or to stray into the corsetry department. I wanted comfort. It could be smart and it could be beautiful but it had to be comfortable.
This was because I had learnt a secret. You can only be stylish and elegant when you are feeling comfortable. Most of the gorgeous girls I’d met who were real fashion victims also looked really unhappy most of the time as they were in physical pain from what they were wearing. Pain makes you grumpy. Think of truly stylish women like Audrey Hepburn or Isabella Rossellini and you rarely think of discomfort, more ease of movement, grace. So take a tip from these icons and keep it simple and comfy.
If you’re scared you’ll end up looking frumpy, remember the magical power of accessories and add funky belts, scarves and jewellery to keep it modern and add interest. Vintage and retro is massively popular now (although I was doing it back when it wasn’t and so naturally feel a bit huffy as I was being teased as a teenager for being two decades before my time). The benefit to this trend is that you can dress like your gran and still look cool. What are grannies known for? Great set hairstyles, a good red lipstick and comfy, warm, feminine clothes. It’s a winning combination.
The other important point to bear in mind is the use of natural materials, silks and cottons, for example. This is because synthetics can be itchy, lose shape more quickly and just don’t feel as nice on the skin. I was also once told by a very spiritual man that silk is like a coat of armour against negativity. Try wearing a silk vest under your clothes for difficult meetings or when you suspect you might encounter conflict and see if it works.
Here’s an idea for you…
Have a clothes swap party among your friends. Invite everyone round to your house, asking them to bring clothes, shoes and accessories that they no longer want. Clear your own wardrobe too and then pile everything together in the centre of the room and let everyone rummage. Provide some cocktails and nibbles to make it all even more fun and definitely try things on.
Defining idea…
‘Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.’
OSCAR WILDE
How did it go?
Q What have comfortable clothes got to do with inner peace?
A Back in the day, fakirs and spiritual aspirants would put themselves through extreme discomfort to mortify the flesh and remind them of their spiritual nature. Luckily we don’t need to go down that path as evidenced by the number of Thai fishermen pants you see in the average meditation class. Discomfort is old skool spirituality; we’re hip and modern here.
Q I look like a shapeless blob in the sort of clothes you suggest. What do I do to still look alluring?
A For a start stop referring to yourself as a ‘shapeless blob’. Try definition. If you can afford tailored trousers, think of the wide legged trousers worn by women in the 1930s and 1940s. They were comfortable but defined too. If you can’t afford tailored clothing, head for some of the vintage shops popping up in all major cities and have a good rummage till you find the perfect fit for you. 70s hostess dresses are also very sexy but loose-fitting. Then all you need is a martini and you can re-enact Abigail’s Party round at yours.
Q I love fashion. Are you suggesting I forsake my hobby?
A Heck, no! You should embrace your hobby but now you have a mission along with it, find the most wearable and comfortable cuts and styles each season. You’ll find certain designers like Miyake and Wakeley kinder on the female form than the McQueens and Gaultiers of the world.