Having a clearout is great for the soul and even better for your pocket so get sorting through all your possessions, remembering to only keep what’s useful or beautiful.
It’s not just Stepford wives that need a neat, tidy home — we all need to come back from the chaos of the world outside to a haven of beauty and order.
I have this fantasy. No, not the one where I’m a mermaid and Josh Holloway (the actor who plays Sawyer in Lost and who’s in the Davidoff Cool Water ads) dives into the sea, accidentally startling me in the middle of a bath… ‘Oh, Mr Holloway! But I am naked!’… ahem. Anyway, moving on, I have this fantasy that I will come home one day and everything will be pristine and orderly. It will be as if Jeeves came by on his leave from Bertie Wooster and cleaned and tidied the house from top to bottom. Clothes would be neatly pressed and put away. Paperwork would be in files convenient to locate. Surfaces would have very little on them and so be easy to dust and keep clean. Beautiful objets d’art and frames would adorn the house.
It’s a fantasy because I’m a hoarder. I never think ‘this is junk’, I think ‘I could use that for Christmas wrapping decoration’ or ‘this might be useful one day’. Of course that one day is never, ever likely to come. Unless of course you throw away said bit of junk, in which case, you’ll find a need for it the very next day.
Sue Kay, author and professional declutterer, once had a session with me. She called a lot of my concerns ‘negative thinking’. I assumed bad things would happen if I let go of my junk. I’d not be able to prove my existence without my hundreds of scraps of paper.
Except why would anyone be trying to eradicate my existence? After all, I’m not a top spy. I kept two copies of everything I’d ever written, just in case one of the copies went missing, had coffee split on it or was burned to a cinder. My logical mind can grasp that if I have stuff piled up everywhere, it is much more likely to go missing or have coffee split on it. Plus I keep the two copies together and can’t think of one occasion on which one would be burnt to a cinder while the other remained unscathed.
Sue did a two-hour session with me and cleared masses of things. We had a charity bag, a keep bag and a throw away bag. Sue seems to have a morbid terror of moths and, given the amount of silk I’ve lost to the little blighters over the years, I share her concerns. She explained that the more stuff I had, the less likely I could keep it all clean and the more likely things like moths would get at it.
By the end of the session, my room felt lighter, I had got rid of loads of unnecessary stuff and I had found some earrings to wear that I had forgotten I had. It was a lot like treasure hunting. Her cool, calm approach made everything go fast and I didn’t linger over every little thing, paralysed by fear that I might throwaway something useful. Reading is also a big problem for me when decluttering as I tend to get caught up reading some clipping I’ve kept or a magazine that must be read before it is donated to the doctor’s surgery. Having Sue there meant I couldn’t indulge this real ‘time bandit’ when it comes to decluttering. Find a ‘tough love’ friend who’ll sit drinking coffee while you declutter. Ask him or her to stop you if it looks like you’re about to start reading something instead of getting on with it.
Here’s an idea for you…
Pick an area of your house you have been avoiding decluttering, play one of your favourite albums and just begin. If it’s not beautiful or useful, it gets the heave-ho. Most albums are under an hour long and you can stop as soon as the music stops. If at the end of the album, you want to keep going, pop on another album and keep going.
Defining idea…
‘No person who can read is ever successful at cleaning out an attic.’
ANN LANDERS, American advice columnist
How did it go?
Q I’ve sorted out my paperwork but now I can’t find anything and I have to do my taxes – help!
A OK, this often happens to me and you have to a bit of a detective as you’re trying to figure out what would have been the logical place for you to have put something. Just remember that you, on some level, know exactly where you’ve put things and sit and think where that might have been. Luckily I think you’re probably more rational than my friend who puts all her bills in the bread bin, behind the cookies. Seriously, she does.
Q I have a big box of my children’s childhood clothes and toys. I can’t part with them as they have such lovely memories for me and I’d like their children to have them. Is that too sentimental?
A There’s nothing wrong with sentimentality if you temper it with practicality. I keep my youngest sister’s bootie as it reminds me of how tiny her little foot was, a lovely memory to retain now that she’s a moody teenager wearing big wedge heels. However, clothes and toys get dated and, by the time your kids have their own, they’ll probably want to buy new things. Plus where are you going to keep this stuff? In an attic or shed? If so, dust and cobwebs will probably get them. Your best bet is to pick one or two small things like a cuddly toy and some socks and put them in a special place where you can regularly clean and look after them. I think that’s a much better way of preserving your memories.