Affirmations to live by (and non-embarrassing ways to use them). Repeating words of comfort and hope can actually bring you comfort and hope.
The universe wants to deliver lots of lovely goodies to you but you have to give it your shopping list and you may have to repeat it a few times just to drive the point home.
I believe in mermaids, fairies and little green men from Mars. However, in all the time I’ve explored mind, body and spirit ideas, I’ve never believed in affirmations. I mean, how on earth can repeating patently untrue statements to yourself ever work? It sounded like so much New Age bunkum that I didn’t give it another thought.
Then one day, I met a lady called Helen Wingstedt. I trusted Helen because through her psychic horse companions (stay with me here, we’ll be out of the twilight zone shortly), she had pinpointed a lot of my problems within an hour of meeting me. Helen is a fan of affirmations and she gave me rather a good one: ‘I choose to beloving and trusting’. This is because at the time I met her I was not at all loving and trusting. I was cynical and tired of people messing me about. Anyway, like I said, I trusted her and so I started to repeat this to myself silently all the time.
A very strange thing started to happen. People started to smile at me. Complete strangers, men, women and children — smiling for no apparent reason. My first instinct was to check whether my flies were undone (they weren’t) and my second was to get suspicious about an invasion of body-snatching, smiling aliens (still inconclusive). The point is that the universe was responding to the affirmation I wasputting out there. The universe thought I was loving and trusting, not because I was but because I was affirming that as my intent. In the same way, affirming ‘I have plenty of time to do everything I need to get done’ will miraculously create vast swathes of time in your day in which you can get your stuff done. ‘I am healthy and energetic’ will yield those results, even if you’re sick when you’re affirming it.
Try to avoid negatives in your affirmations so nothing like ‘I am free from pain,’ as the universe is literalist and will see the word ‘pain’ without seeing the context of ‘free from’. It would be better to say ‘I am happy and healthy,’ as presumably you wouldn’t be very happy or healthy if you were in pain. The other thing to remember is to keep your affirmation present. It’s no good saying ‘I will be happy in my job,’ you need ‘I am happy in my job’. This is because, like I said, the universe is literalist and will appreciate that your grammar means that you’re not feeling happy right now but will in the future. Since the future is never now, you can’t achieve what you need right now.
Also remember not to be so specific that you end up messing up your own wish. If you say ‘I am loved by Paul Smith of 14 Heyford Close’, you open up a whole can of worms. Mr Smith’s dad, also Paul, may visit within the week and take a shine to you. Better to say ‘I am romantically loved and cherished and I return that love,’ or something a bit less wordy but you get my drift?
Once you’ve worded a nice, juicy affirmation, start saying it all the time under your breath. No-one needs to hear this or needs to know what you’re up to. Just be discreet and keep doing it. If discretion isn’t something you’re bothered about, try writing your affirmation out and sticking it on desk where you can see it. Or typing it out as a screensaver or having it stuck next to your shaving mirror. Basically try and see those words as often as possible and say them to yourself as often as possible too. You’ll be amazed at the results.
Here’s an idea for you…
Write out a favourite affirmation on a small slip of paper and slip it into your bra (gentleman, try a pocket rather than anything unhygienic). Then each time you have a loo break during your working day, slip out the affirmation and whisper it to yourself. You can say it completely silently if you’re scared someone from accounting might overhear and get the wrong idea.
Defining idea…
‘Happiness is the longing for repetition.’
MILAN KUNDERA, author
How did it go?
Q I did an affirmation ‘I will be rich very soon’ for a week and it hasn’t worked. Why?
A Because you phrased it in the future so you’re constantly waiting for ‘very soon’ to arrive. Try ‘I am very rich’ and then remember that ‘rich’ can refer to having loving family and friends, a good social life and excellent health as well as millions in the bank.
Q I always feel silly and ‘New Agey’ doing these. It’s just not my style. Any other suggestions?
A When you were learning to read, did you feel silly for not knowing what letter had which sound? And did you think reading was just a bourgeois affectation? Of course not! So, if you want to harness the power of affirmations, you have to get over any embarrassment and just do them in your head. Why is your internal social critic so strong? Silence him or her by doing them anyway. If you really can’t face it, well, no-one is forcing you, so onwards and upwards.
Q It worked! It worked really well and I told my best friend about it but she thinks I’ve turned into some Madonna-wannabe now and refuses to discuss it with me. What should I do?
A Nothing. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it affirm ‘I drink water to my heart’s content’. Let her have her beliefs and you have yours.